Retreat Ready: Tips for Attendees to Thrive

A while ago, I read How To Get The Most Out Of Coaching: A Client’s Guide for Optimizing the Coaching Experience by Karen Davis & Alex Mill. It opened my eyes on how I can take responsibility for making the most out of the time with my coach.

About a month later, I went to a breathwork retreat and got a ride from a fellow participant who had been to many more retreats than I. I asked her, what I can do to make the most of the retreat. In this article, I’ll summarise what I’ve learnt.

Presence

I think in general it is true that the more you put into something, the more you’ll get out of it. If you are fully present in a conversation, it’ll become more meaningful and develop differently than if you are doing something else at the same time. So, presence is hyper important.

How can you become present? There are many practices and here are my favourites: breathing deeply, journalling to dump my thoughts, creating structure and clarity, working out, meditating, not thinking (aka mindfulness).

Mindset: Action

Breakthroughs come through insights. But insights in themselves aren’t enough, there needs to be action as well. It could be that you have the insight that you need to forgive a person you’ve held resentment against. Great! Now, what’s the next step? How can you put that into action? Can you call them? Write a letter? Put it in the agenda to do these things?

I’ve been on the journey of closing the gap from idea to action: if I have a new idea, I want to execute it ASAP.

Mindset: Co-Creation

Any situation you find yourself in is co-created. You contribute to it as well as other people. Accept that. Accept and be proactive about your part. What is it that you want to get out of the retreat? What can you prepare, do, ask for, remind yourself of to make it likely that you get that?

If you want to go deep, for example, you could journal about deeply meaningful topics the days prior — that way they’ll be on top of mind. Is there something that doesn’t work well for you in the setup of the retreat? Talk to the organisers or see what you can do yourself. I didn’t hear the guidance from our facilitator because the music was too loud, so I went to him and told him.

Trust & Letting Go

Inner work isn’t linear. Often, we don’t know what to expect. THAT’S OKAY! Life would be boring if everything was predictable. Build trust with the facilitators. Build trust with the other participants. Let down your guards as far as possible. You cannot experience transformation if you continue policing what to say and what to do. You need to let transformation move you. That’s hard for many and, again, you can be proactive about it. We all feel safer when we know the people around us. Usually, the facilitators of retreats make sure there are sharing rounds for exactly that purpose and you can also initiate conversations to get to know others.

This was actually the most important thing the person who gave me a ride shared with me: TRUST. Trust the process. Trust the facilitator. Trust the others.

I’m organising a retreat on authenticity and self-expression for men soon. Find out more on emergingmen.carrd.co/#retreat